so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
