just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
