Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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