from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
