are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
