69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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