Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
