when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's blow job season.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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