I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize