that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
