I'm drive I can fine osifer
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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