yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
