guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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