dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Terrible idea I love it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
