i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
it was like eating out sand paper
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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