Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
