Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
