I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
