her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
