it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hello my rib-scented angel!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize