:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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