Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
