I wanna bring you to show and tell
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
