Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
