So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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