Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
