What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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