Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
