Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
