thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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