Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
