I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
