i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My ass is underappreciated
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
