I bet he comes in French.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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