i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
