Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
