After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
