lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
