I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
