the day after is always just damage control
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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