i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
