Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
