the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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