So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
well you can't waste a boner
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
