Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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