420 ftw
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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