I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This toilet bowl is my home.
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