Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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