ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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