Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Someone shit on the floor
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
