if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
